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Decoding Gene Swindoll’s Tweets by Scientology or any Other Means Necessary (Someone Had to do it.)

 

In the world of college football recruiting, odd things happen close to signing day. Recruits often flip from one school to the next, a school may land a surprise recruit or even lose one unexpectedly the night before the big day.

In today’s internet world, people pay good money to sites like Rivals, 247sports.com and Scout to get such information to try and stay on top of each and every move their favorite 17 year old phenom is making.

One thing though you never expect is for the owner of the recruiting service you pay for to absolutely lose his lid via social media. That very thing happened on January 29, 2013 when Genespage/Mississippi State/Scout.com owner Gene Swindoll took to twitter to “have fun” and express his “sense of humor” over five star defensive end Chris Jones recent visit to Ole Miss.

Many thought Gene’s twitter may have been hacked and other’s said if not, there were some deep underlying issues with the jort wearing recruiting “expert’s” mental well-being. Turns out it has to be the later because Swindoll himself said those were his tweets as he was having fun.

Many wondered what in the heck Gene even meant by those tweets and were left looking lost, but have no fear as we here at Make it Rain Sports have finally broke through the cryptic language and have de-coed what the Wiley crootin’ expert meant as he tried to be hip like the cool kids.

The following is just that as we reveal to you our reader, the true meaning of Gene’s twitter tirade.

Disclaimer: Some language may seem inappropriate and we apologize but again we are simply translating what he said or meant to say.

Ok first off when Gene refers to the Maroon Tidal Wave he is referring to Houston, MS five star defensive end Chris Jones. The Library is a very popular night spot where all the cool college kids and dirty old men hang out.

Gene Swindoll ‏@GeneSwindoll

The Maroon Tidal Wave told me he was in Oxford this past weekend. He said he mostly studied at the library while there.

Translation: Jones said he kicked it at the club with the homeys most all weekend

Gene Swindoll ‏@GeneSwindoll

He also said he now knows what he wants to be later in his life, either a bartender or a doctor. I asked him why.

Gene Swindoll ‏@GeneSwindoll

He said all he did during the weekend was either study anatomy or drink beer. The only problem is he never was shown where the college

Translation: Dog – the weekend was sick. We kept it 100. Between the co-eds and alcohol we stayed busy enough to not even get over to the University Of Ole Miss but that’s cool yo. I could so work here part time as a bar tender or a docter of love! Catch my drift mean Gene?

He also might be a rapper as well. They get paid a lot of money and all they do is walk around and folks hand them money.

Translation: The only way in Gene’s mind a kid would attend Ole Miss is if they are illegally paid by boosters and/or have a rap song written for them – FEEDMOCRIEF!!!!!!

Gene Swindoll ‏@GeneSwindoll

Tid, tid, tidal wave. Tid, tid, tidal wave. That’s Maroon Tidal Wave’s first rap song. I think he should stick to being a doctor.

Translation: hey…hey…hey…hey… too legit to quit.. too legit to quit..
we’re rolling on…we’re rolling on…we’re rolling on…we’re rolling on… That’s Jone’s first song but I think he should stick to being a pimp or straight rolling chicks.

Gene Swindoll ‏@GeneSwindoll

The Maroon Tidal Wave said he wants to specialize if he becomes a doctor. He wants to be a gynecologist.

Translation: Chris could so see himself being a playa and tapping some ass. Much ass.

My twitter and facebook accounts have not been hacked, although as a writer I have been called a hack at times.

Translation: I am a douche bag. Yes I really did this.

When it comes to covering MSU sports I try to be very professional. But on twitter and facebook I like to have fun.

Translation: I take my video games seriously but I am no different than any other idiot when I take to social media.

Gene Swindoll ‏@GeneSwindoll

I like for my sense of humor to show through on twitter and facebook.

Translation: Through my twitter account I truly showed my true colors and do not be surprised if Chris Hansen and I have a conversation in the near future.

Thanks Gene, I am glad we got all this cleared up and we are glad signing day is less than a week away; and all this will be over (for now) and maybe you will never make our eyes bleed like that again via social media.

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